Remember your 21st birthday? Probably not.
But I’m sure you heard stories about how funny you were, how many shots you took, and how much you puked. You may have even gotten lucky and made out with someone. After that, any time some one questioned how much of a badass you were, you could always say, “Dude, you should have seen me on my 21st….”
Guess what? You’ve got nothing on this guy:
Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”
Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.” (Ouch!!!)
Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”
Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.” (WTF?)
First of all, how do you even have sex in the backseat of your car and drive at the same time? Do you put it into cruise control? Do you steer with one hand as you make your way to the backseat? I can’t even begin to imagine what you do with a stick-shift.
Granted, he did eventually crash the car. And I'm not condoning drunk driving, for the record. Still, you've got to admit, this guy was doing some serious multi-tasking.
And check this out: there was a third person in the car while all of this was going on. What the fuck? What do you think he was saying while all of this was going on? Don’t you think he would have spoken up and said something, like:
“Um…hey man, I know it’s your birthday and all, but if it’s not too much to ask, is there any chance you could perhaps stop drunk driving at 85 fucking miles per hour and having sexual intercourse next to me as I sit here in the back seat. Thanks bro, happy birthday!”
The plaintiff, a cab driver, is seeking $75,000 in damages. According to the story, the defendant now insists that the third guy was driving at the time of the crash, but the third guy denies it. The defendant’s lawyer, Frank Prior, said there was “no statement by anyone that they were driving on the Beltway having sex” and “no facts on it.” Someone’s obviously lying.
Although it’s interesting to note what the plaintiff’s attorney said:
“Having sex at 85 miles per hour while drunk on a freeway is willful and wanton negligence.”
Notice he never mentioned “driving” specifically. Weak case, perhaps? Either way, some funky shit was going on in that car.
Keep an eye on this trial. Should be exciting.
No comments:
Post a Comment